I looked over to her table and she’s crying. Again. While everyone else is happily working away, she sat there, unable to move, just crying.
Not asking for help.
Not trying to solve her problem.
Just crying.
I took a deep breath before heading over. We’ve already been at this for several months…isn’t it about time the problem-solving has kicked in yet?
One glance and I could tell what her problem was. She didn’t have her pencil.
Know how I knew?
It laid on the floor beside her. In plain sight.
As a kindergarten teacher, I don’t jump right in and solve problems for kids. It’s good for them to try to solve the problem themselves. This is something she struggled with.
I reminded myself of the need for patience and empathy as I walked up to her. “What’s wrong, Amanda?”
“I…can’t…find…my…pencil….” she sputtered out between sobs.
“Ok, that’s a problem we can solve. What have you tried?”
“I don’t know.”
After a long time trying to first, calm her down, and second, come up with some strategies she could try, she finally found her pencil. At that point, everyone else had finished the project.
What is Problem Solving?
Problem-solving is the process of finding a solution to your problem. This can be quite tricky for some young children, especially those with little experience in finding more than one way to solve a problem.
Why is Problem Solving Important?
Problem-solving skills are used throughout childhood into adulthood. As adults, we solve problems on a daily basis. Some problems we solve without thinking much- I wanted to make tacos for dinner but forgot to buy the ground beef. What are we going to have for dinner now?
Other problems are significantly more complicated.
Problems for kiddos can be problems with friendships, the inability to find something that’s needed, or even what to do when things don’t go your way.
Kids who lack problem-solving skills struggle to maintain friendships or even begin to attempt to solve their own problems.
Children who lack problem-solving skills are at a higher risk for depression as well.
What Are Problem-Solving Skills?
- Creativity
- Breaking Down a Problem into Smaller Parts
- Communication
- Decision-making
- Initiative
- Logical Reasoning
- Perseverance
That’s a big list to teach toddlers and preschoolers. Where do you begin?
The Problem-Solving Steps
Sometimes kids are so overwhelmed with frustration that it affects their ability to solve problems.
Kids feel safe in routines, and routines help them learn and grow. After a few times of repeating this routine, you’ll find your kiddo starts to do this on their own.
It’s important not to skip straight to solving the problem, because your kiddo needs to be in a calm state of mind to solve the problem, and also they need to know their feelings are valid.
- The first thing to do when your kiddo is struggling with problem-solving is to validate their emotions.
In doing this, they will feel more understood and learn that their emotions are okay. There are no bad feelings, and we must learn how to manage our emotions.
This might sound something like “Oh, I can see you are really frustrated that the block won’t fit on there right. Let’s take some deep breaths to help us calm down before we think about what to do next.”
- Next, work through your calm-down process. This may be taking some deep breaths together, hugging a stuffie, or giving your kiddo some quiet time to calm down their heart and mind.
- Identify the problem. This sounds like something you may have already done (before the meltdown) but it’s important to be very clear on the problem you’re solving. Have the child tell you their problem out loud.
- Move on to solution-finding. When your kiddo is ready, talk about what the problem is and three possible solutions. When possible, let your kiddo do all of the talking. This allows him to practice his problem-solving skills. It’s important to remind him that the first thing he tries may not work, and that’s ok. There’s always another way to solve the problem. If he’s prepared for this, solutions that don’t work won’t be such a frustrating experience.
- After you’ve done that, test your solutions one by one. See what works. If you haven’t found a solution yet, go back and think of different ways you might be able to solve your problem and try again.
Are you tired of hearing “It’s TOO HARD!” followed by a meltdown?
Using this one simple phrase you’ll get in this powerful lesson, you’ll not only be able to help your kiddo not give up but you’ll:
>Activate their superpower of perseverance so that they can turn around a meltdown and keep trying
>Inspire them to use perseverance…even when it’s hard
>Teach them to recognize the warning signs of giving up, and how to turn it around by taking control of their choices.
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Powerful Activities that Teach Problem-Solving Skills to Toddlers & Preschoolers
These activities below may look simple, but don’t let that deter you from trying them. A lot happens in little developing brains and these powerful activities help toddlers and preschoolers make connections and develop {many} essential skills-more than just problem-solving.
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Puzzles
Puzzles are fun and a great way to encourage cognitive development in children. They are great for spacial reasoning and strengthening problem-solving skills. They also develop memory skills, critical thinking, and the ability to plan and execute the plan. Toddlers will enjoy the simple puzzles, and preschoolers will do great with floor puzzles with larger puzzle pieces.
Doing Simple Chores
Doing simple chores is a great way to teach children problem-solving skills, and it strengthens responsibility and perseverance as well.
During the toddler years, you may start with just picking up their toys, or helping you put their dirty clothes in the hamper.
Preschoolers can take their dirty dishes to the sink (or load them in the dishwasher), collect the trash, dust, wipe baseboards, and do their own personal care items like making their bed, taking care of their dirty clothes, and putting clean clothes away.
Stacking Rings
When watching a toddler play with stacking rings it doesn’t look like much is happening, but playing with these toys is full of ways to encourage development. It helps with visual and spacial perception and planning ahead, but it also with balance control, crossing the midline, creative play, and gross motor skills. Not to mention it’s a great opportunity to practice problem-solving.
Playing Hide-and-Seek
Hide and seek has many surprising benefits for kids. Playing hide and seek is like a treasure hunt that helps develop gross motor skills and encourages physical development, as well as problem-solving skills. It also helps young children develop visual tracking, working memory, and social-emotional skills.
Imaginative Play
Imaginative play (also called role-play) builds important skills. Through pretending to be in different situations, kids develop social skills, emotional skills, better communication, and problem-solving skills. Imaginative play is a great idea for young toddlers all the way to older children.
Free Play
Many young children don’t have {enough} time for free play. Free play is important for healthy brain development, not only developing imagination, cooperation, physical skills, and independence but also providing a great opportunity to strengthen problem-solving skills.
Playing with Wooden Blocks
Building blocks are a fun way for children to develop creative thinking, imagination, problem-solving, fine motor skills, and if working with others, cooperation, communication, and friendship.
Playing Memory
Memory games improve attention, focus, visual recognition, and concentration. It helps children recognize details and of course, strengthens problem-solving skills.
Ask Questions
When I see my son struggling with something, my first instinct is to give him choices or at least lead him in the right direction. The better thing to do is to ask very open-ended questions that lead his process, not his thoughts.
Questions like “What’s one way to solve your problem?” are much more effective in teaching problem-solving skills than “Well, where did you last see your stuffy?”
Read Books and Social Stories
Reading books is one of my favorite ways to teach any skill. It’s extremely effective at teaching, and it’s also an amazing bonding time with kids.
When we read stories, our brain reacts as if we’re living in the story. This is why reading books about skills such as problem-solving is so effective.
Model
Kids of all ages learn from the people they love. (Yes, even those older kids who you don’t think are paying attention.) Often as adults, we’re too busy going through our daily routine to think about talking about the way we solved the problem at work that day.
Talking about how you use skills such as problem-solving, perseverance, and integrity is a great way to set an example, and an expectation that this is how we do things, and it will provide encouragement for your kiddo to do the same.
Scavenger Hunts
Scavenger hunts are a great group activity that can strengthen your child’s logical thinking and problem-solving skills.
When Your Kiddo is Ready, Add These Activities
Preschoolers would benefit from all of the fun activities on the list above and when they’re ready, feel free to add in the following activities.
Mazes
Mazes are great for problem-solving and perseverance, but your kiddo will need to have decent fine motor skills to do these activities. Mazes are one of our favorite activities. We love to take our activity book of mazes in the car with us for road trips.
Board Games
Board games are a good way to strengthen problem-solving, teamwork, planning skills, patience, sportsmanship, and communication skills. They also strengthen family relationships by providing some intentional time of connection.
Any board game can also be turned into an academic game with just a deck of cards for whatever skill you’re working on. If you’re working on the alphabet, put one letter on each card. Before each player’s turn, they draw a letter card and say the letter’s name. (You may accidentally forget the name of a letter every now and then to see if your kiddo is really paying attention!)
Allow Opportunities for Hands-On Investigations
Kids are tactile. They love to touch and explore things with their hands. This is a good activity for toddlers also, as long as they are out of the putting everything in their mouth stage. Hands-on exploration is great for language development, sensory exploration, and problem-solving.
Allowing kids to investigate with their hands allows them to see how the world works up close. It also gives them time and space to try to make things work…and problem-solve when it doesn’t go as they think it should.
The Most Difficult Way (and Most Important Way) To Strengthen Problem-Solving Skills
Watching our kids struggle is hard! We don’t want to see them having a hard time…and most of the time we don’t want to deal with the impending meltdown. Standing back and giving our kids time and space to work through even simple problems is hard to do. It’s also the most important way to strengthen problem-solving skills.
As parents, we’re like frogs in boiling water. When our kids are infants, they need us to recognize their needs and solve them immediately. As they get older, they can point to what they want, but we still have a lot of interpreting and problem-solving to do on our own. If we aren’t careful, we stay in this stage and don’t teach our kiddos the steps to problem-solving for themselves.
The next most difficult thing? Allowing natural consequences to happen. (As long as your child is safe of course.) If your child saves their money for a long time to buy a new toy, but walks down the toy aisle and picks up something you know they’ll be disappointed with, let it happen. It will teach a valuable lesson that will last for years to come.
Another Essential Part of Problem-Solving
Perseverance is a big part of problem-solving. We are rarely able to solve problems the first time, and it’s essential that kids can find more than one solution to a problem. Studies have found that perseverance is actually the biggest predictor of success, even more than aptitude or raw talent.
An entire module is dedicated to perseverance in our course for kids, Super Kid Adventures. Your kiddo will get 25 teacher-led lessons on character traits (perseverance, empathy, friendship, responsibility, and wellness) and activities that take their learning further.
Want a free preview? Grab a FREE Perseverance video lesson that teaches your kiddo one of the most important secrets that help them use perseverance.
Want More?
If you like this, you’ll love:
The Ultimate List of Books that Teach Perseverance
7 Simple Ways to Encourage Independence in Young Children
How to Help Your Child Develop Self-Help Skills
Your Turn
What are your favorite ways to teach problem-solving skills?
As a SLP trying to guide parents as I work with their child. I would like to know what toys to recommend to my parents as I assist in guiding their child’s development in cognition and expressive language.